The SafeEstates Blog

The Sharp Edges of Grief

I meet some of my clients for the first time when they come to me following the loss of someone very special to them.  I like to give them an opportunity to tell their story before we dive into their legal issues.  Often they are still grieving and unready to make significant decisions.  I have noticed that grief and loss reach all generations.  When indie pop singer/songwriter Ingrid Michaelson posted on Facebook the news of her mother’s recent death, her broken hearted message received 12,000 likes and 2,000 comments within hours.

In August I attended a class on Recovering from Loss taught by David and Debbie Mathews.  They are the co-founders of the Spark of Life Foundation.  Their mantra is Living Forward.  David and Debbie identified six things they have learned about grief.

1.  Grievers have broken hearts not broken minds.  Grief is the price we pay for love.  Give yourself permission to grieve when, where and how is right for you.

2.  All grief is unique because all relationships are unique.  Even marriage partners grieve differently for the same loss.

3.  All loss is in the context of other losses.  Each loss may trigger memories and unresolved grief from previous losses.  We may have to work on past losses to become “unstuck” from current ones.

4.  Comparing my losses with other people’s losses is not helpful.  My loss is my loss.

5.  Discovering or rediscovering my true identity is helpful in recovery.  I am not the sum of my gains and losses.

6.  Recovery from any loss is possible – there is always hope.  After loss, life will never be the same but can be rich and fulfilling.

For more information on Spark of Life Foundation and the Grief Recovery Retreats it sponsors, visit

I am not an expert on grief.  I cannot fix anyone’s broken heart.  I can offer a safe place to share grief and the experience, wisdom, judgment and courage to move forward to make your life better.  This is why I love helping families keep Safe Estates.